Friday, December 4, 2009

"You've Got To Be Kidding"

December is finally here. My long awaited favorite month of the year is in full swing. News of note?.....not much you would want me to go into great detail about, except that I have decided to go under the knife again for a complete overhaul. I'm not talking about any trimming away of the fat I have acquired by eating prime rib and ice cream or smoothing away the wrinkles on my freckled face. I wouldn't think of masquerading around Mandarin after a face friends of 40 years and all of those old boyfriends who appear occasionally in Publix would never recognize me (I can't have that!) What I am talking about is major spinal surgery complete with rods and screw, cadaver bones, artificial disks, a hard neck brace and the magical place known as rehab. My cervical and lumbar spine otherwise known as a "highway to hell", has reared it's ugly bones. It's going to be a tough one, but my newly found bffn at the Mayo Clinic says were going to be getting to know each other very well in 2010. He thinks he can save my mobility in what may be either the stupidest thing I have ever agreed to do..or the only option I have left to continue to remain upright. If I can cop a lap-top out of Santa this year, I'll be able to write about the crazy things that will surely come my way during that twilight state before and after intubation. My mind usually takes me to places even Holly Hunter hasn't been. No one can really say for sure why my spine has let me down... maybe it was all that sex and rock 'n roll in the seventies or maybe it was the numerous times I fell off my bike or took a nose dive off the top bar of my swing set..The fact is, my spine has let me down. a tough break for sure.....but I truly believe that "when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping".
So...... that's why I am taking off for Paris again before I'm down for the count on February 1st. This time my stay will be longer than three days and the plan is to see the things I didn't get to see the last time and more. I'll be traveling with a dear friend I have known since junior high along with my red walker with wheels and hand brakes. We've found the lowest airfares available to mankind for January traveling and what looks like a great hotel. It's a good thing WE PURCHASED TRAVEL INSURANCE BECAUSE EVERY FREEKING MUSUEM WORKER IN PARIS IS "ON STRIKE" NOW SHUTTING DOWN EVERY MAJOR MUSEUM. Naturally, THIS INCLUDES "MY" BELOVED LOUVRE AND IT'S GIFT SHOP WHICH I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO SPENDING MORE THAN THREE HOURS VISITING THIS TIME AROUND.
= EN GREVE!!! = French museum strike widens over staff cuts Visitors to Paris' Pompidou Centre (Beaubourg) find the doors locked due to a strike. Several of the French capital's museums went on strike to protest over the government plans to reduce staff numbers and state subsidies. The signs read "On strike". Well, I've never known a telephone man to strike for more than a month, but the French might be more determined than the American communication workers of my generation. Before marrying into new money, a work stoppage was the last thing I looked forward to. In my later years at work, I actually hoped for a strike to get some unpaid strike vacation and a chance to sew to my heart's content. Who could predict man's quest to avoid doing more work for less Euros would affect Claire in Jacksonville. Not me, that's for sure.........So my plan is to have a back-up plan....I don't think the Vatican's Swiss Guard has ever gone on strike.....maybe I'll have the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel to ponder while under anesthesia for the day....on second thought, maybe I don't want to see the hand of God reaching out to me during a dreamy drug induced post-op fog.